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As Brinson told you about yesterday, the unfairly vilified Steve Bartman was offered $25,000 by an online sports memorabilia site to sign a picture of him interfering with a foul ball in the 2003 NLCS at Wrigley Field. All Steve would have had to do was show up at a sports collectible convention in Rosemont, Illinois, sign the picture, and cash the check.

Unfortunately there's one factor that Sportsbuy.com didn't take into consideration before making this offer, and that's that Steve Bartman cannot be bought! He doesn't need your stinking money.

Bartman friend Frank Murtha says that Bartman won't accept an offer of $25,000. For the money, all Bartman would have to do is attend the National Sports Collectors Convention in Rosemont and autograph a photograph taken of when he tipped a foul ball that seemed destined for Cubs' outfielder Moises Alou's glove during a 2003 playoff game with the Florida Marlins.

Bartman has declined all offers to appear or make money off his brush with fame.

I don't know if I'd call it a brush with fame as much as a brush with infamy, but to each his own I suppose. Can't we just leave this guy alone, though? It's been five years since it happened, and the Cubs kind of have other more important things going on at the moment. Considering that Bartman completely dropped off the face of the earth after that fateful night in October 2003, and has done a very good job of staying there, I think it's pretty obvious he doesn't want to be pigeonholed with this the rest of his life. It wasn't even his fault the Cubs lost that NLCS anyway.

So let's just leave him be, okay?

Few NFL players are so good that they can shine no matter what the offensive system or the players around him. Texans wide receiver Andre Johnson is one of those players. You have to be great to go to the Pro Bowl twice with Mister Mittens David Carr throwing you the ball.

I've seen a few articles about Johnson's fantasy prospects like this worth-a-read one from FootballGuys.com. From someone who has followed Johnson's career closely, I will add my observations about his injury history and prospects in Gary Kubiak's offense.

Injury History: No NFL team is particularly forthcoming on injuries, but I put all the information found from public sources in this entry on Andre Johnson's offseason knee scope. In part:

In 2005, he missed three games due to an unspecified pain, variously described at the time as pain in the back of his left knee or in his calf near the knee. In 2007, he missed 7 games for receiving what was eventually described as a sprain to his left PCL and MCL.

Playing collegiate sports is a tough gig. You're up at 5 AM, doing sprints before workouts before class before practice. You hang, play and party with the same group of teammates you travel with.

So, when the coach decides to dismiss you from the team, what's the first logical step to take? Yep, you guessed it, sue the coach and the university.

Andrew Giuliani, son of former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani, is suing Duke University after being kicked off the team by head coach O.D. Vincent, claiming he was "illegally terminated from the team in February."

"[Men's golf coach] O.D. Vincent announced to the team that he was unilaterally canceling Andrew's eligibility to participate in the University's Athletics Program immediately and indefinitely. Andrew and his teammates were shocked. Andrew had no prior notice of what was about to happen. At no time was Andrew ever given an opportunity to defend himself; instead he was summarily dismissed," the lawsuit read.

Now, I'm sure it kills you to be tossed to the curb by your coach, but it isn't like Andrew is winning Nobel Peace Prizes or anything. This is the same kid who said he wasn't going to campaign for his father because he didn't want it to get in the way of his aspiring professional golfing career.

Yesterday, we were reminded of Jeremy Shockey's promise to a bunch of unsuspecting kids that he'd make the Giants pay for trading him. Today, The New York Post's Paul Schwartz writes that head coach Tom Coughlin is ready to move on in a post-Shockey World.

Coughlin's message ... was simple and resounding - "Team over self is why we win" - and, asked if Shockey's inability to adhere to that mantra was a factor in the trade, he admitted, "I am sure at some point in time that was part of the consideration."

Coughlin's right, of course, and he points out the obvious in about as harmless a way as one could expect. And although Shockey is a top-5 NFL tight end, I'm not sure the Giants will miss his on-field production particularly when you take into account his off-field bellyaching.

Of course, this assumes second-year tight end Kevin Boss will be able to replicate his surprisingly successful rookie season, or that other downfield threats -- Steve Smith, Sinorice Moss, and Mario Manningham come to mind -- pick up the slack.

Whatever happens, the Giants and their fans have moved on. While I think the Saints are even more explosive with Shockey catching passes from Drew Brees, New York made out alright, too, getting a second- and fifth-round pick in the trade. And one less distraction.

Next up: extending Plaxico Burress' deal.

It was a truly special week for Greg Norman at the British Open last week.

Contending in a tournament he won twice, the 53-year-old Norman gave the golf tournament significance for more than what golfer wasn't in attendance at Royal Birkdale.

No matter how he played, Norman stood by the fact that the British was just a warm-up for the Senior British Open, but it looks as though his energy tank is getting fairly close to empty. Norman, playing with Tom Watson and everyone's favorite quitter, Sandy Lyle, shot a four-over 75 to find himself in an early tie for 71st.

On Wednesday, Norman admitted he was optimistic about this week at Royal Troon.

"Now, my expectations are good," Norman said. "I like the golf course. Remember my comment last week: 'I was using the British Open for a warmup to the British Senior Open' - should have been the other way round.

"So now I've warmed up, basically. OK, so now I've got to step up and, hopefully, I can do that over the next four or five days."

John Canning, chairman of Chicago private-equity firm Madison-Dearborn Partners and noted dude with lots of money (private equity must pwn), is interested in the Cubs. His ownership group has long been mentioned as the frontrunner in the sale of the storied franchise mostly because he's really good friends with Bud Selig, and that is one of two big prerequisites -- the other being, you know, money -- for becoming a Major League Baseball owner.

Turns out, Canning might have failed at the money bit. His first offer lowballed the Cubs, and they dismissed it outright:

A group led by John Canning, chairman of Chicago private-equity firm Madison Dearborn, valued the Cubs, Wrigley and the team's stake in Comcast SportsNet at far less than the $1 billion or more that the four or five groups team owner Tribune Co. deemed satisfactory to continue, a source with knowledge of the process said. [...] But Tribune Co., which also owns the Chicago Tribune, appeared to be serving notice in shooting down the lowball offer. The source indicated that the most important figures connected with any offer will be the ones with dollar signs [...]

In other words, Canning's friendship with Selig isn't going to win him this outright, and he will have to pony up the cash to make his chances stick. Equally interesting will be what happens when Mark Cuban bids -- or maybe he'll just buy sports, and save us all the trouble.

The Major League Soccer All-Star Game kicks off tonight in Toronto, and the best players in MLS, all of whom are in mid-season form, will face a mid-table Premier League club (West Ham United) just starting its preseason. The All-Stars will probably win -- just as they did against Celtic, Chelsea and Fulham in the last three All-Star Games -- and MLS will hold it up as an example of how their players can compete in any league in Europe.

Of course, this is nonsense. No MLS club could survive the Premier League season, because no club is deep enough or talented enough to handle it. (I could explain why, but I'd be repeating myself.) Plus, playing a team still in preseason mode is much easier than playing team in midseason form. That's why MLS hasn't won a CONCACAF trophy in eight years.

It does bring up an interesting question, though, which I will pose to you, FanHouse readers -- if this All-Star team was its own club, how would it fare in Europe?

Forget our report that there is a 90 percent chance that Fedor Emelianenko would defend his heavyweight title against Andrei Arlovski: Kevin Iole of Yahoo reports that it's 100 percent: The fight will take place on October 11, and the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas has already been booked.

The October 11 date is significant because it's going to be very, very hard for UFC to counter-program Affliction the way it did last Saturday. UFC 89 is scheduled for October 18 and UFC 90 is scheduled for October 25, and it would just be asking too much for UFC to do three straight Saturday live shows.

FanHouse Minute is your 60-second rundown of the top five headlines of the day. Check back here every weekday morning for the latest.


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Read more:
5.Gilbert's Going Boring
4.Bartman Offered $25,000 for One Autograph
3.Man Crawls Across Finish Line at NYC Triathalon
2.Wroten Has Ricky Williams Disease
1.Never Underestimate a 78-year-old Woman

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Thursdays: Kristine
Fridays: Miss Gossip

The first time EliteXC had a show on CBS it seemed like a Very Big Deal, simply because it was the debut for mixed martial arts on network television in prime time.

EliteXC's second CBS show is this Saturday night, and it doesn't seem like such a big deal. But the truth is, this weekend's card (the first hour of which is on Showtime) is actually a better showcase of MMA talent than the EliteXC CBS debut.

The card features two of the top 25 MMA fighters in the world, with middleweight champ Robbie Lawler taking on Scott Smith in a rematch of the best fight from that first show, and welterweight champ Jake Shields taking on Nick Thompson. It also has a solid undercard that could have the women's MMA fight of the year. Full details and predictions are below.